The Autumn Blues 

Korean autumn has always had a very profound effect on my state of mind. This time of year I feel a kind of melancholy or sadness, about what exactly, I'm not sure. I can only describe it as the autumn blues. As it happens I then heard the Korean idiom "가을 타다" on the radio, which relates to this sentimental or lonely feeling as the leaves start to change. I guess it's not just me. 

Once a year I try to visit Beomeosa Temple near BUFS to appreciate the beautiful autumn foliage. I always stop to admire the massive 580-year-old ginkgo tree which many visitors here consider to be a kind of guardian. It has survived the Japanese invasion, fire and so many seasons. It makes me think about the passage of time, how it was growing here long before me, and how it will hopefully still be here long after I'm gone. 

Noticing the passage of time. That's what might be causing this melancholy. Autumn is an obvious sign that another year is drawing to an end, the trees are giving one last show before the long winter.

The past and future are topics often discussed in many of my classes. Especially the future, as so many students often brood over their possible careers and life paths. Many of today's younger generation seem somewhat overwhelmed by choice. Having more diverse job opportunities and 'the world being your oyster' can often lead to more indecision, doubt and fear. It's a big deal after all, deciding how you want to live your one life here on earth. 

Part of the problem might be the fear of future regret. Committing to one path inevitably means saying no to many others, not just in our careers but also in our relationships and other pursuits. The truth is that we have limited time, energy and willpower. 

Also more often than not we doubt our current situations and past decisions, leading us to imagine all of our unlived lives, a multiverse of possibilities, had we made different choices. It can be a dangerous game, considering other ways we could have lived or paths we could have taken. It can lead to feelings of guilt, doubt and often regret.

During these times I guess we have to remind ourselves that in the end any choice is better than no choice at all. 'Life is short' may seem like a clich? But we shouldn't waste our precious time too much on indecision, fear of future regret or doubt about past choices. Here the recent Itaewon tragedy might be a wake-up call for all of us to commit to our life stories and play the cards that we have been dealt in life, to the best our abilities, whatever they may be.

Perhaps next time these autumn blues come, we can also remind ourselves that there might be a kind of power in considering 'what could possibly be' and 'what could have been'. Instead of letting it lead us into doubt or regret, let it inspire us to enrich our lives with multiple passions and interests. We cannot fulfill every dream but we can carry the essence of those dreams with us and make it a small part of our everyday lives in practical ways. 

You can be a rock-climbing polyglot stay-at-home parent or a bread-baking office worker who paints beautiful landscapes on Sundays. May we all follow our passions boldly and combine them into a fulfilling life.